The Sanoj Cousins: a Legendary Camp Rock Tale
by purplesparkleypanda
Summary: Julio Sanoj is thrust into the Camp Rock world, and suddenly everything goes hay-wire.Camp Rock is ruined, all because he was written in their story! Warning: Satirical. If you don't have a sense of humor, don't even TRY to read this.


It was a stereotypical day at Camp Rock. Mitchie was helping in the kitchen, and Shane was creeping behind her, wondering if she was the girl with the voice. Later in the day, Mitchie was walking around near the lake like she usually does, and saw Shane playing the guitar, like he usually does. Something was different about today, and Mitchie just couldn't put her finger on it.

"Shane, do you feel like today is a different day that usual?" she asked him.

"Maybe it's going to rain," Shane said, looking up at the sky, "but hey, I wanted to run a new song by you, okay?"

"Well actually, it's for you," Shane replied shyly.

"For me?"

Suddenly Mitchie felt like she couldn't breathe. Shane wrote a song for . . . her? The day seemed to get a little brighter, and she wondered why she had even questioned it in the first place. Shane was sitting very close to her, and thought that maybe, just maybe, they would share their first kiss. It was the most romantic moment of her life.

Until they came.

"OH MY JESUS CHRIST!" Mitchie yelled, as a large object fall on her head.

"DUDEEEE! Did you fall from the sky?" Shane exclaimed, standing up in an attempt to protect his guitar.

Laying on the ground and rubbing his head was a boy . . . who looked strangely like Shane.

"I . . . I think so," the boy said, "someone wrote me in here."

"Wrote you in here? What do you mean?" Shane demanded, as Mitchie lay on the ground in shock, eventually sitting up.

"Who ARE you?" Mitchie asked, although she didn't mind two Shanes.

"Julio Sanoj," he replied, "I'm a member of Mexico's most popular adolescent pop group, The Sanoj Cousins."

Shane and Mitchie glanced at each other with strange looks.

Just then, two other people feel from the sky, and into the lake. As the two bumbling cousins climbed onto the shore, they introduced themselves.

"Hola, I'm Nico," the littlest one said, ringing out his hair.

"And I'm Pasqual (Kevin) Sanoj," the tallest one said, "and we are also cousins . . . The Sanoj Cousins!"

Mitchie and Shane thought it had to be a dream. These people were crazy!

"Why do you guys look like my brothers?" Shane asked, confused.

"We should be asking you the same thing," Nico said, "we were just written in here."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN?" Mitchie demanded at the top of her lungs.

"The fangirls just can't get enough of our sexiness and can't find a place to post their Sanoj stories," Julio replied.

"So they wrote you into Camp Rock?" Mitchie asked, "I think I get it now."

Suddenly, Nate came running over to surprise Shane with his visit.

"Shane! We came to judge final jam and . . . what the f-" he started, as he saw Nico and the other two Sanoj's.

Side note: Stereotypically, Nate was in a relationship with Caitlyn, even though he had not attended Camp Rock that summer, nor had met Caitlyn yet.

Then things got even more cracked out.

"Oh good, Caitlyn's here to figure out this nightmare!" Mitchie exclaimed with relief.

"Caitlyn? No, I'm Alejandra . . . and this is Dominica and Selene," Alejandra introduced, as a girl who looked JUST LIKE Mitchie showed up, along with another dark haired girl that defiantly did not fit in with the group.

"I really just don't know what's going on." Shane said, as Jason too joined the group as well.

The Camp Rockers and The Sanoj Cousin's crew stood there in silence. There was not a person in the camp that wasn't confused. And as if it couldn't get any weirder . . .

"I'M SO MAD!"

Everyone turned around to see a blonde haired girl running up the hill behind them. She was wearing a big white dress with a tiara, and seemed to be wearing . . . pink converse all-stars?

"This little BRAT Francisco was hiding IN MY DRESS!"

Everyone gasped. It was Sam, from the popular teenage romantic comedy, A Cinderella Story.

"I don't understand why this little brat thinks he can just pop in on my dance like that!" she yelled.

"Francisco! Come here cousin!" Pasqual yelled, "it's just Francisco guys."

"I don't care who it is . . . they need to stay out of my life . . . and don't even get me started when I saw YOU in the hallway at my high school last week!" she pointed straight at Julio, who shook his head in protest.

There was a lot of yelling, and a lot of screaming, when suddenly the real Caitlyn and Tess came running up to the lake.

"Guys! Where have you been?" Caitlyn demanded.

"The Sanoj Cousins and their clan all got written into Camp Rock, and we are all just confused. We know it wasn't their fault, they were just trying to have a fiesta back in Mexico when people decided to abuse rules and just PUT them here." Mitchie explained.

"And the little on that isn't even in the band crawled up my dress . . . they get written into my life too and I'm sick of it!" Sam yelled.

"I think we all are," Julio decided, "I'm so tired of switching lives. One day it's Camp Rock. The next day I get a girl pregnant, and the next I'm getting married. I NEVER know what's going to happen. I just wish if people wanted to mess with my life, than they should at least keep me out of others. The Camp Rock crew is Hott, and I would never want to ruin anything for them. "

"Well, it's too late," Tess stated sadly, "Final Jam is over."

"WHAT?? OVER??" Mitchie yelled.

Soon there was an outrage, everyone was fighting and terrorizing each other. They had missed Final Jam, the very reason the Rockers attended the camp.

It was an all out brawl. Look-alike against look-alike. It didn't matter what they had said anymore. Final Jam was over, and Camp Rock the movie was ruined. Shane never found his girl with the voice. Mitchie and Shane ended up hating each other. Tess never got over herself. Connect Three never quite "connected" with their new sound. No one ever wanted to return to Camp Rock ever again.

All of the sudden, Selene, the girl that no one quite understood why she was there, spoke up.

"Well, if Final Jam is over, that means that there had to have been a winner . . . right?" Selene yelled.

Everyone stopped. The lost girl made a good point. Who had won the Final Jam?

Out of nowhere comes Mrs. Torres.

"Kids! Guess what?" she yelled, approaching the teens with excitement.

"WHAT?" They yelled in unison.

"The winner of Final Jam was . . . HANNAH MONTANA!!"

"But she's already a pop star!" Mitchie exclaimed furiously.

"Well . . . I say . . . we find her!" Caitlyn proclaimed, as an enraged Margaret appeared with flame torches for everyone.

The mob sprinted together in their quest to find Hannah, waving torches and fake blonde wigs above their heads in rage.

It was the end of Camp Rock. The characters were monsters now . . . the Sanoj Cousins caused them to miss Final Jam, and ruin the movie.

There was no Disney ending here.

Just a confused Camp Rock fanfiction writer shaking her head and wondering . . .why?

Why did the Sanoj Cousins have to take over her favorite section . . . there are plenty of other sites to post the fics, that are not against the rules and regulations of this one.

Even though she sees the persistence in the Sanoj fans, there are some things she will never understand.

She didn't feel like being a Camp Rock fan anymore.


End file.
